Candor about donor conception may aid family ties

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Parents who conceive using donated sperm often opt not to tell the child. But a small study suggests that choosing to be open about it may be good for the parent-child relationship.

UK researchers found that among 46 families with young children conceived through donor insemination, parents who had told or were planning to tell their children showed particularly positive relationships with them. 

Specifically, mothers from “disclosing” families reported fewer and less serious arguments with their children than other mothers did, and they considered their children to be “less of a strain,” the study authors report.

However, the findings, published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, do not mean that family dysfunction results when parents opt not to tell their children about how they were conceived.

The researchers stress that the differences they found among families were not the product of poor relationships in “non-disclosing” families, but of particularly positive ones in disclosing families.

According to the researchers, led by Dr. Emma Lycett of City University in London, thousands of couples affected by male infertility have used donor insemination, with most parents choosing not to tell their children about their conception. Because of this, little has been known about whether children who know about their parentage differ from those who don’t.

In theory, the researchers note, secrecy about the procedure could interfere with the bond between parent and child, or put strain on a couple’s marriage, which would in turn affect the child.

To investigate, Lycett’s team interviewed families with children between the ages of 4 and 8 who were conceived at a London clinic that encourages parents to tell their children about their conception. Twenty-eight of these families were considered non-disclosers because they had either decided not to tell their children or had not yet made a decision. Twenty other couples had told or were planning to tell their children.

Assessments of the children showed no differences in psychological disorders between the two groups; only three children overall were judged as having emotional or behavioral problems.

But interviews with the parents found that mothers in disclosing families reported fewer and less severe arguments with their children, and felt that their kids had fewer conduct problems and were less of a strain. There were no such differences found between fathers in the two groups.

According to Lycett and her colleagues, the findings suggest that being open about a child’s origins may strengthen the mother-child relationship.

But they add, “It is important to emphasize, however, that parental openness does not necessarily produce more positive family functioning.”

It’s possible, the researchers note, that mothers inclined to be open about their children’s conception may have been more “relaxed” about parenting in general, and therefore less likely to consider their children’s behavior troublesome.

SOURCE: Fertility and Sterility, July 2004. 

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