Arguments with teenage daughters can be good?

Mothers exasperated by petty arguments with their teenage daughters should take heart from new research in Britain which shows arguing may actually be good for their relationships with moody offspring.

Research by a Cambridge University academic shows that arguments are often used by teens as a communication tool.

“The rows often start from absolutely nothing. But they rapidly escalate to where the daughter is saying ‘I hate you’ and the mother is upset,” British newspapers Friday quoted psychologist Dr Terri Apter as saying.

“But…daughters often use arguments to update mothers about their lives and what they are doing and what is important to them. Arguments…sometimes keep the relationship going,” Apter said at the British Psychological Society’s annual conference.

Apter’s study found mothers and their teenage daughters on average had a spat lasting 15 minutes every two and a half days. In contrast adolescent boys were in conflict with their mothers on average every four days and only for six minutes.

As for any father considering getting involved with their daughter’s rows over homework, boyfriends and untidy bedrooms, Apter’s advice is-don’t bother.

“Daughters get frustrated with their fathers but tend to give them the cold shoulder and ignore them,” The Independent said.

Provided by ArmMed Media
Revision date: June 21, 2011
Last revised: by Janet A. Staessen, MD, PhD