'Tis the Season for Being Happy …Or Not the Holiday Blues

With the holiday season in full swing, many people find themselves battling a form of the “holiday blues.” According to Ronald M. Podell, M.D., a Los Angeles based, board certified psychiatrist who served over 20 years as a clinical faculty member at UCLA, a host of factors produce this well-known phenomenon.

What are the underlying causes, symptoms, and valid treatment options for this syndrome? According to Dr. Podell, who authored the book Contagious Emotions – Staying Well When Your Loved One Is Depressed, there are two different kinds of holiday blues. The first affects those who are alone. These individuals have no nearby relatives or are estranged from their families. They may be new to a community or their friends may lead extremely busy lives or are visiting relatives for the holiday. Internally, they feel isolated and abandoned. The holidays blues hits them hard as they feel singled out and terribly alone. They often wonder if they are unlikeable or emotionally disturbed. The second form, Podell states, “comes from forced reunions with family during the holidays. Such ambivalent reunions often relive the same dysfunctional family relationships that have been operating for decades.”

“When we are young,” Podell explains, “the emotions of traumatic experiences are coded by the brain into neuro-chemical messages and stored in memory nodes. They become a permanent part of the brain-an example of the plasticity of brain function—the brain’s ability to be permanently changed by experience. When something happens that awakens that trauma, whether it is actual or merely symbolic, the memory node is stimulated and the neuro-chemical messages are released.” A person then re-experiences the same emotions that came from the childhood trauma-and the blues set in. The feelings are those of a hurt child and were likely experienced with the same family he now finds himself visiting as an adult.

And, in fact, the very same conversations, behaviors and conflicts can erupt with the speed and destructive intensity that they carried years ago. Often, the entire family is affected and people begin reacting automatically, which generates waves of negative contagious emotions that upsets everyone present. So, in a moment of reunion, many families can experience old pain, dysfunctional automatic behavior, and traumatic recollections of horrible times past. In that sense this form of the holiday blues is not about being alone but being trapped in old trauma.

During the holiday season, consumers are inundated with reminders – from barrages of TV commercials to stores decked out in regal splendor. Cultural myths and expectations tell us we have to go home, we have to forgive even if we were once hurt. Similarly, the same culture tells us that we should feel joyous and merry. What is the message to someone who is depressed, anxious and ambivalent at best about reliving painful memories?

Podell reiterates that these myriad of reminders can be a trigger for unresolved issues such as unsettled grief, disappointment, a sense of isolation and loneliness, and memories of past losses (such as divorce, break up, psychological abuse, death of a family member or relative.) Oftentimes, the holiday blues are a result of unrealistically high expectations of the “perfect holiday,” mixed with memories of holidays past, loved ones no longer present, and the “not so rosy” reality of the current situation. In addition to feelings of gloom, loneliness, depression and anxiety, symptoms of the holiday blues may include the inability to sleep, excessive sleeping, changes in appetite resulting in weight gain or loss, lack of clarity and focus, and decreased interest in activities that bring pleasure.