Improving Sexual Relationships for Cancer Survivors

For the more than 6 million female cancer survivors living in the U.S. today, the celebration of continued life and love can be interrupted by cancer treatment’s side effects, including in the bedroom. Experts at The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center offer survivors advice on how to get their relationships back on track.

“The majority of the women I see say that their partners are very understanding throughout their treatment,” said Mary K. Hughes, R.N., C.N.S., a clinical nurse specialist in M. D. Anderson’s Psychiatry Department. “However, some women who have completed their treatment, have trouble with intimacy and say that they would like to be more interested in sex.”

At some point in their life, many women experience trouble with intimacy that can be attributed to a wide variety of issues.

“Remember that regaining a powerful sexual relationship with your partner isn’t a race,” Hughes said. “It’s like a train ride – it’s a journey. Be creative, and do what feels natural. And who knows? The sex might end-up being better than ever.”

Maintaining a healthy relationship
Any couple’s ability to maintain a healthy relationship relies, in part, on their ability to interact, relate and be intimate as they make challenging and life-affirming transitions throughout life.

For the partner of a cancer patient, that means being an active part of their companion’s treatment.

“It is helpful if the partner can be there – go with the woman to her appointments and offer to drive her to chemotherapy,” Hughes said. “Being there is a crucial part of support. A woman is much more likely to feel confident and have a renewed interest in sex if she feels safe and supported.”

“It’s important for partners to continue reassuring and complimenting her because a woman initially might have a hard time believing that her partner finds her attractive,” said Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D., a professor in M. D. Anderson’s Department of Behavioral Science and a licensed clinical psychologist.

Conquering body image together
Once a woman has been treated for cancer, she may develop a negative body image as a result of surgeries, or because of scarring. Although it is natural to have a difficult time accepting a change to the body, it is extremely important that women not project their own negative feelings onto their partner.

“What the woman needs to remember is that she is usually more upset about the changes to her body than her partner is,” Schover said.

“I have talked to a lot of partners, and the truth is that they are just happy that the woman they love is alive,” Hughes said. “They are not concerned about a scar or an imperfect breast. A woman shouldn’t think that her partner isn’t comfortable with her new body.”

Bringing life back into the bedroomSome women who have undergone chemotherapy experience sexual issues that are physiological, as well as loss of libido.