'How drink ruined my life'

With the government set to publish its strategy to tackle alcohol misuse, BBC News Online's Melissa Jackson talks to a recovering alcoholic about the pain of addiction and its destructive effect on his life.

More than two-thirds of Phil's life has been spent under the influence of alcohol.

His taste for booze began early. He says his father innocently introduced him to wine at the age of nine and by the age of 15 he was regularly drinking in pubs and clubs with friends.

By the time he was 17 he was sinking up to six or seven pints a night - four nights a week.

He liked the taste of it and he enjoyed the kick it gave him.

Now aged 50, he reflects on a life that has been dominated and destroyed by alcohol.

He said: "By the time I was in my mid-twenties I was locked in to drinking."

He managed to hold down a job, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to cover his alcohol addiction - he was effectively drinking all the time.

He would take time off because he was either still drunk or hungover and he was spending half his wages on alcohol.

Addiction denial

His personal life suffered too.

His marriage crumbled after three years and he has completely lost contact with his son from that partnership.

He said: "I didn't think I had a problem. I was in denial. I thought drinking was what working men did and I excused it in that way.

"I realise now that a lot of my first concerns were about drink and everything else came second."

Drink took over his life and he could no longer hold down a job, but he was still buying alcohol on credit.

Drugs were part of his life too and he was regularly taking amphetamines, which enabled him to drink more because they kept him awake.

He said: "I was hanging on to life by a thread."

By the age of 35 he realised he had to sort out his addiction, not just for himself, but for the sake of the precious young daughter he now had.

'Impending doom'

He said: "I started to realise when I didn't have a drink I had a sense of panic and I would start shaking.

"I called it my 'impending feeling of doom'.

"If I had to go without a drink, which was rare, I would go through shakes and sweats.

"I couldn't go for more than a few hours without a drink."

Eventually he went to his doctor, who referred him to the Maudsley Hospital in south London.

A six-week residential treatment programme got him off the demon drink, but it was short lived.