'How HIV affected my identity'

Nathan is gay, HIV positive, and an Orthodox Jew.

When he revealed not only his sexuality but also his HIV status to his family and friends, they were appalled and moved quickly to ostracise him.

"At the beginning it was really hard," he said.

"Some people found out by accident and some people could not deal with it and thought that they were going to catch it from me, by drinking from the same cup.

"They did not want to invite me to their houses"

Seriously ill

Growing up, Nathan had been part of a close-knit Orthodox Jewish community in London. Every aspect of his life had revolved around his religion.

"I grew up in a Hasidic part of London and all my friends were into being Jewish and being part of the Orthodox community," he said.

"I was part of this until I was 18 and then everything went haywire, particularly because of my sexuality.

"My core network of friends disintegrated because of who I was and the way I changed."

Because he had lived such an insular life, Nathan knew little about Aids. His boyfriend wrongly assured him he had been tested and was clear, and they had unprotected sex.

Shortly afterwards Nathan, now 31, became seriously ill.

He had a high temperature, night sweats and then thrush all over his body. Then, he found himself unable to walk and had to use a wheelchair.

A blood test revealed he was HIV positive.

Lasting love

But despite being so sick, Nathan dragged himself to an HIV demonstration and it was there that he met the love of his life.

A decade later the couple are still together.

Nathan, who has been HIV positive for 14 years now, had worried that his illness was going to leave him ostracised from his community.

However, he was introduced to other gay Orthodox Jews and told about the Jewish Aids Trust, which Jewish people with the HIV virus.

"They have really become my core network and supporters. They are fantastic," he said.

"They visit me and take me out for day trip when I am ill and can't walk and they have become my friends."

Thanks to them and other gay Orthodox Jews he has met, Nathan has got back his "Yiddishkeit", or Jewish identity.

But he admits that, although people are now more understanding about his sexuality and condition, few speak about it publicly.

"Over the past few years I have become more Orthodox.

"The Rabbi knows about my status, but he can't stand up publicly and support me.