Guide to Safer Sex [part 3]

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9.3 Oral Barriers

9.3.1 General Comments

Oral barriers are some manner of flat, virus-impermeable material which may be used to protect both partners when engaging in analingus and cunnilingus.

Here are a few general tips on their use:

• One may always increase the amount of pleasurable sensation transmitted to the receiving partner by putting a small amount of lube on THEIR side of the barrier.
  
• If you’re concerned about inadvertently reversing the oral barrier, use a marker to inscribe a non-reversible letter (such as “F") on the barrier; this way, the letter will be reversed if you turn the dam around and the error will be obvious to you.
  
• One may purchase a “Dental Dam Garter Belt” from companies such as Good Vibrations which holds square of material in place over the vulva, so that with oral barriers such as dental dams and Glyde “Lollyes”, nobody has to hold it in place. Some people find it preferable to hold the barrier in place themselves, though…

9.3.2 Types of Oral Barriers

9.3.2.1 Dental Dam

This is a small, thick square of material which was traditionally used in the dentist’s office. In the early days of AIDS education, these were recommended exclusively. People found them so difficult to use and so ineffective at transmitting sensation that many folks rejected the use of oral barriers entirely. Fortunately, there are other oral barriers available today which transmit sensation MUCH better than dental dams, if you decide that your personal standards include using barriers for oral sex. All of the barriers mentioned below are thinner then dental dams, and transmit sensation much better.

9.3.2.2 Saran Wrap

The primary advantage of Saran Wrap as an oral barrier (in comparison to the other popular option, the Glyde barrier mentioned below) is that it allows you to perform barriered oral sex without as much need for anyone to hold anything in place. Here’s how:

1. Apply some lube to your partner’s vulva (or anus, as the case may be) to increase her or his sensation and comfort.
2. Cut yourself about five feet of Saran Wrap, and keep it as uncrumpled as possible when making the journey from the roll to the person it will be applied to (or just keep it on the roll, and apply it from the roll).
3. At about the level of the navel, smooth one end of the Saran Wrap against the receiving partner’s belly.
4. The person the Saran Wrap is being applied to should then hold this part by their navel in place and keep his or her legs separated while the rest of the Saran Wrap is wrapped between the legs, leaving a small amount of slack to improve sensation.
5. At the level of the waist in the rear, the Saran Wrap may be turned at a ninety-degree angle and wrapped around the waist like a wide belt, to hold the Saran Wrap “Bermuda Shorts” in place.
6. Optionally, the Saran Wrap can then be wrapped around twice and pressed/tucked in for extra security.

If your partner will be lying on his or her back, you can simplify this procedure by having the receptive partner lie down on one end of the Saran Wrap strip, thus anchoring it, while you bring the other end of the Saran Wrap between his or her legs to place that end on his or her stomach. The receptive partner then holds this end of the Saran Wrap in place while you perform oral sex on him or her.

Some people like anal or vaginal penetration while receiving oral sex; in this case, their partner can simply slip his or her (typically gloved) fingers around the side of the wrap and in.

One advanced technique which may be used on men is to make a series of wraps around the whole pelvis horizontally with the Saran Wrap, after adjusting the penis so it is pointing downwards. This serves as a type of bondage technique for the genitals, and allows a fun and frustrating level of manual and oral stimulation to be performed on it through the Saran Wrap.

9.3.2.3 Glyde Dams

These portable rectangular barriers are thinner than dental dams and have a mild vanilla taste. They’re a favorite with many people, and are the only oral sex barrier with FDA approval to make claims about their protective abilities.

9.3.2.4 Modified Condoms

One may partially unroll a condom, cut off the tip, slit it up the side, stretch it out, and use that as a barrier. Some people like to cut off the base as well. Be sure that you have selected an good-tasting condom without N-9 if you’re going to do this. Using Modified Condoms is a good option if you don’t have any Glyde barriers around.

9.3.2.5 Modified Gloves

One may snip the fingers off of a glove (leaving the thumb in place), and slit it up the pinkie side. Then, you have a barrier with a depression (where the thumb used to be) where your tongue may go. This works well for some people. If you don’t like the thumb indentation, you can slit it up the thumb side, and remove the thumb as well as the fingers. Some people like to snip off the base as well. As it is difficult to remove any powder from the inside of a glove, unpowdered gloves are preferable if this technique is going to be used. Some people like to keep the fingers that they snipped off the glove for use as finger cots, but if you had gloves in the first place you might as well just wear a glove instead of using these extra finger cots. Since gloves are thicker than condoms, this “Modified Gloves” approach might not be the best approach unless you really like the thumb indendation.

9.3.2.6 Combination Glove and Dental Dam

If you like performing cunnilingus or analingus at the same time you are performing manual vaginal penetration, then here is an idea you might try. Put on a glove (possibly one which is longer than normal), slit the glove up both sides (stopping as you get to the wrist), and fold the resulting flap up to serve as the oral barrier while your gloved hand is free to penetrate. This technique works well with latex gloves, and poorly with nitrile gloves. As it is difficult to remove any powder from the inside of a glove, unpowdered gloves are preferable if this technique is going to be used.

9.3.2.7 Eros Veil

This is a product which is essentially Saran Wrap shaped to fit the human pelvis and designed to “bunch up” less. I haven’t seen these for sale anywhere for quite some time, and they may be off the market.

9.3.2.8 Face Shield

This is a barrier (which I’ve only seen once or twice) that the person performing the cunnilingus or analingus puts over his or her head, like a ski mask. It has an indentation where the tongue may go and move about. It isn’t commonly available, and may be uncomfortable for people with facial hair. One can improvise a face shield which is perhaps more comfortable in the following way: take a square piece of Saran Wrap, fold it once from corner to corner (so it looks like a triangle), and wrap it around your face in such a way that you can tie the two ends together at the back of your head and the flat part is just below your nose and the body of the triangle covers your mouth; then, you may perform cunnilingus or analingus on your partner through the Saran Wrap triangle which is draped over your mouth.

10. Special Notes on SM Safety

If you break the skin with a toy, or if it comes into contact with possibly infected vaginal fluids or semen, then you shouldn’t use that toy on someone else until it has been cleaned adequately. To disinfect many types of toys (especially ones made of metal, plastic, or some other nonporous material), one may soak them for two or three minutes in a 10% bleach/90% water solution, possibly preceded by washing with hot soapy water but definitely followed by rinsing well with hot water and allowing to air-dry.

For items made of leather or suede, which could be damaged by bleach, you should refer to the excellent book Leather and Latex Care by Kelly J. Thibault. On the subjects of cleaning and disinfection, Kelly Thibault offers the following suggestions:

1. For suede items, first clean with the special suede cleaner sold in leather stores (using an artgum eraser for any spots which won’t come out). For leather items, clean using saddle soap on a soft cloth soaked in cold or lukewarm water, and then remove the residual soap with another damp cloth (if you would like to improve the appearance of the leather item, you can follow this by buffing with a dry soft cloth).
2. Spray the item (using a simple spray bottle) with 70% rubbing alcohol and allow the item to dry slowly (recent evidence suggests that the Hep C virus can survive outside the body for three weeks, so keep this in mind when deciding on drying time if Hep C is a concern).
3. For leather items, then apply Lexol conditioner and let set.

The folks at Toys in Babeland have a few more words of wisdom about cleaning toys:

“Don’t submerge the part of a battery vibe that holds the batteries. Do not submerge electric vibes at all.

Silicone dils and plugs can be boiled up to 3 minutes, cleaned with a bleach solution, or run through your dishwasher. For more delicate polymers stick to warm water and soap, and replace them every so often, as they are impossible to keep perfectly clean.”

If cleaning seems like too much of a chore and you still want to use your toy with more than one person, it may be possible (depending on the toy) for you to put a latex condom or latex glove over it, which you discard when you’re done. Rubber dildos are porous and it isn’t really practical to completely sterilize them, so you should either put condoms on them if you’re going to use them with multiple people or switch to silicone dildos (which can be boiled to disinfect them, as mentioned above).

For play piercing, needles should be purchased sterile (from a medical supply shop such as Choice Medical, or from a scientific supply shop such as Fisher Scientific) and discarded in a sharps container after use. One should not dispose of sharps containers in the trash, but rather should drop the sealed container off at either a pharmacy or a hospital emergency room. Be sure to first clean the area that will be pierced with one of more of the following: Betadine, Benzalkonium Chloride, or 70% rubbing alcohol; these substances can be most easily applied by using pre-packaged cleansing towelettes. It is recommended that you wear gloves when performing blood-letting activities such as cuttings. If a metal cutting/piercing instrument is not disposable, immerse it in a solution of 50% bleach/50% water for for 10 minutes, and then rinse thoroughly; it is preferable, however, that non-disposable cutting/piercing instruments be reserved for only one person if possible. Note that the legality of private needle ownership varies by jurisdiction; do not order or purchase needles if you are in a jurisdiction which outlaws private ownership of them, or which classifies them as drug periphenalia.

There are safety procedures for these and a variety of other SM techniques which are more stringent than the ones described above, and which many people choose to follow. Please consult a modern text on BDSM, such as (but not limited to):

• The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual, edited by Pat Califia
  
• Consensual Sadomasochism, by Henkin and Holliday
  
• Sensuous Magic, by Pat Califia
  
• Screw the Roses: Send Me the Thorns, by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon
  
• The Loving Dominant, by John Warren
  
• SM 101 (2nd Ed.), by Jay Wiseman
  
• SandMutopian Guardian (magazine)

It is generally best to learn advanced ("edge") techniques from someone who knows what they are doing before proceeding with such play. Public workshops on SM, if they are available in your area, can be a valuable resource. Also, don’t be afraid to call 911 if an emergency condition arises; ambulance crews have seen stranger things than anything you could probably come up with.

Despite these precautions, however, it should be pointed out that many common BDSM practices (such as floggings that don’t break the skin, psychological domination and submission, bondage, nipple pinching, spanking, use of hot wax or clothespins, etc.) offer absolutely no potential for STD transmission. In fact, part of the current surge of interest in BDSM practices such as these may be caused by their relative safety from STD risks.

11. Forming a Toy Bag

11.1 General Comments

Depending on your preferences, you may use and wish to have on hand a variety of different equipment when you go to play with someone. For that reason, it can be useful to put together a safer sex/sex toy bag. Your toy bag can be as simple as a small hip pack containing the different items you use. If you have some small items or easily confused items (i.e. different sizes of gloves) you can arrange them in labeled little zip-lock bags, which can prevent unnecessary awkward fumbling in the heat of passion.

11.2 Basic Contents of a Toy Bag

• Latex condoms without N-9
  
• A bottle of water-based lube

Depending on your habits and personal safety standards, you may also wish to have…

• Oral Barriers (Glyde or Saran wrap)
  
• Latex or nitrile gloves in your size (and possibly a few other standard sizes, if your hands are especially large or small; this way, you will always have a glove that a partner may use on you)
  
• A large zip-lock bag labeled “Trash/Biohazard” that you can put spent safe sex gear into in group sex situations, or when having sex in unusual places such as the outdoors.
  
• Antimicrobial “Sani-Dex” Hand Wipes or Benzalkonium Chloride towelettes (for cleaning up and removing condoms)

11.3 Recommended Extras for a Toy Bag

• Quarters for phone calls and the bus
  
• A list of phone numbers for friends, emergency hotlines, and transportation information
  
• Spare medication (if you take any)
  
• Saline solution and a case for your contact lenses (if you wear them)
  
• Toothbrush, toothpaste, and other overnight sundries

12. STD Prevention and Treatment

12.1 The Basic Principle for Prevention

Avoid the exchange of infectious body fluids, and avoid unprotected contact with infectious surface regions.

12.2 General Comments

Microtears in the gums (perhaps aggravated by recent brushing or flossing), finger cuticles, penis, vagina, or anus can cause a breach where a virus or bacterium may enter, even if the tears are not visible or noticeable. Pathogens can also enter the body after landing on the eyes. Basically, one should avoid any situation in which the body fluids of another might make their way into one’s bloodstream or contact one’s mucous membranes.

Some diseases show no symptoms, and the people carrying them may not know they are infected or show any noticeable signs for years, though they can still transmit the disease to you. When symptoms are observed, common ones are pain when urinating, discharge or odd smell from genitals, itching, burning, or pain in genitals (and sometime lower abdomen), warts, sores, or discolorations on genitals, and flu-like symptoms. There are other symptoms as well; see your health care provider if you have any questions.

Some STD’s (such as Herpes) may be spread by contact with the general areas of the genitals, anus, or mouth. Rashes or outbreaks are often a sign of infection and contagiousness, though it is possible for some of these diseases to be transmitted when there are no visible symptoms.

It is a myth that one may acquire “immunity” to STDs. Two other myths are that one cannot have more than one STD at once (you can have many at once), and that one needs to have multiple partners to acquire an STD (one is sufficient).

HIV and hepatitis may be spread through sharing drug or steroid needles with someone who is infected. In many cities, such as Seattle, one may go to a needle exchange program for clean needles. However, the best approach to the needle problem if you’re an injecting drug or steroid user is to obtain a supply of sterile syringes and needles for yourself, and NEVER use a rig that has been used by somebody else. It is true that you can clean somebody else’s works, but if you need a fix you may not be willing to sit through the sterilization procedure, which takes time.

However, if using clean equipment is not an option, the following procedure may be used. Pour 100% bleach (i.e. Clorox) into a container and repeatedly (3-4 times) draw the bleach into the needle up to the top of the plunger, keep it there for a few minutes, and then eject it down a drain (you can alternatively just take your rig apart and soak it in 100% bleach for about 10 minutes). After this step, rinse everything in cold running water fora few minutes. If a cooker is used, wipe it with a bleach-soaked cotton ball, and then rinse the cooker with cold water and discard the cotton. Never share any of the water, bleach, or cotton once it has been used during this procedure with someone else.

12.3 Comments on Specific Diseases

12.3.1 HIV/AIDS

HIV can be found in four body fluids: blood, semen (and precum), vaginal fluids, and breast milk. An incident of transmission through deep kissing or casual contact has not yet been confirmed, and there have been no documented cases of HIV being transmitted through casual contact in the schools or workplace.

Some people assume that HIV/AIDS is a disease limited to gay males. The facts are that worldwide, heterosexual transmission accounts for 75% of AIDS cases [Novello, 1991], and that women may transmit the virus to other women.

The fact that someone looks healthy gives you no information as to their disease status; people may carry HIV and infect others with it before they exhibit a single symptom or know they are infected. Also, the fact that someone was HIV negative a while ago means little if their behavior has not been safe since that time, and the fact that someone just passed an HIV test may not guarantee that they are not infected and not contagious (generally, it can take up to six months from the time of initial HIV infection for the presence of the virus to be detectable by the HIV tests). For these reasons and others, most STD prevention organizations are now emphasizing the widespread use of safer sex rather than widespread disease testing.

At the time this document was originally written, HIV infection was ultimately causing death in almost all cases. However, new drugs are currently being employed which may prove to assist those living with AIDS in staying healthy longer. Despite this, it must be strongly emphasized that these new drugs are NOT A CURE, and their long-term efficacy is completely unknown.

12.3.2 Hepatitis-B

There is a permanent vaccine against Hepatitis-B (as well as for Hepatitis-A), which you might consider getting. The vaccine consists of a series of three shots over a period of six months, and costs around $130 total (though insurance or your employer may cover it under certain circumstances). The vaccine is effective only if the series of three shots was completed a period of time before you are exposed to the virus. This vaccine may be obtained at most hospitals and student health clinics.

12.4 Common STD’s

In parentheses after each STD is the estimated number of new cases of that STD in the United States during 1995.

12.4.1 Curable

Note: Although these are curable, they may cause damage if they go untreated for lengths of time. They are all bacteria-based unless otherwise noted. In women, some of these may lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease if left untreated.

• Chlamydia (4,000,000)
  
• Trichomoniasis (3,000,000)
  
• Gonorrhea (800,000)
  
• Syphilis (113,000)
  
• Non-Specific Urethritis/Cervicitis (Common)
  
• Parasites such as Crabs and Scabies (Common)

12.4.2 Incurable

Note: Although these are incurable, medications are available which may ease some of the symptoms. They are all virus-based.

• HPV (800,000)
  
• Genital Herpes (400,000)
  
• Hepatitis-B (85,000)
  
• HIV/AIDS (85,000)

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