Guide to Safer Sex [part 2]

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7. Dropping Safer Sex Precautions

7.1 General Comments

Some people elect not to use barriers with their long-term significant other(s), once they’re convinced they are disease free and that they’re not going to acquire any new diseases during the course of their relationship. They then use safer sex precautions only when they have sex with anyone else, or simply don’t have sex with anyone else.

As an aside, for those who wish to practice non-monogamy WITHOUT forming these “latex monogamy” groups, it should be pointed out that, according to a 1989 mathematical analysis, “Consistent and careful condom use is a far more effective method of reducing HIV infection than is reducing the number of sexual partners” [Reiss and Leik, 1989].

Of course, even when safer sex precautions may be dropped because STD’s are no longer a concern, there are some practices that one may wish to retain for other reasons. For example, it is sometimes advisable to continue to use condoms for penile/anal intercourse, even if neither partner is infected with any STD, because bacteria in the anus can (occasionally) cause an infection in the urethra of the penis.

Test results should be interpreted with caution. Even if someone shows you a negative test result, all this tells you is that they weren’t infected at some time BEFORE the test. They could have become infected after the test was taken, and they could have become infected too soon before the test for the test to properly discern infection (this “window period” is six months in the case of HIV).

7.2 Steps Involved in Dropping Safer Sex Precautions

Note: As used here, “Primary Partners” are the group of people who wish to drop safer sex procedures with each other.

1. Use full barriers with everybody, including all primary partner(s), for over six months. Do not do anything even mildly risky during this time.
   
2. After six months (or more) have passed, everyone in the primary partners group gets a full battery of STD tests. They share the results with each other.
   
3. If everyone has turned up negative, the primary partners may now drop barriers with each other, but must remain careful from then on to use conservative safe sex procedures with everyone else, or possibly just not be sexually intimate with anyone other than each other.

8. The Complete Safer Sex Safety Chart

If you’re starting to find this guide overwhelming but are still interested in significantly reducing your risk of catching the most serious sexually transmitted diseases, then please keep in mind that consistently using latex condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse is the single most effective thing you can do to protect yourself. However, particularly if there are extenuating circumstances (i.e. your partner is HIV+ and you are HIV- but you still want to have an active and risk-free long-term sex life), or if accepting even a small amount of risk for any STD (including herpes) is not acceptable to you, or if you’re unwilling to get the Hepatitis B vaccination but still want to have sex with various people who might have Hepatitis B, then you may wish to add other barriers to your personal set of safer sex habits. Here is the complete set of them which you have to choose from:

There is definitely a hierarchy of risk. When barriers are NOT being used, many experts suggest that penile-anal intercourse is riskiest, followed (in decreasing order of estimated risk) by penile-vaginal intercourse, analingus (especially if you’re not immunized against hepatitis), fellatio or cunnilingus, manual anal/vaginal penetration, and finally penile manipulation. Menstruation, ejaculation, recent (tooth) brushing and flossing, and the presence of small cuts in the skin can further increase risk for some unprotected activities. It should be noted that, if the skin is unbroken and healthy and no cum or pre-cum is present, that manual contact with the shaft of the penis is no different from manual contact with any other area of unbroken and healthy skin; however, washing your hands with anti-bacterial soap afterwards and avoiding touching your own genitals or eyes before doing so is still a good idea if you’re doing any sort of penile, vaginal, or anal manipulation or penetration without gloves. Most experts agree that urinating on unbroken skin (keeping the urine away from the eyes) poses little or no health risk.

Sex toys which are applied to the head of the penis or to the vulva, or which are used to penetrate the vagina or anus, should be protected with some sort of barrier as well, so they may be kept clean and used easily and safely with a variety of people. Condoms work well for anal and vaginal dildos as well as cylindrical vibrators. For small butt plugs, the condom may be stretched so that it fits over the base of the plug. Gloves work well for larger (Hitachi-type) vibrators. Please see the portion of this document concerning SM gear for further reference on some toy-related issues.

* HAND | MOUTH | ANUS | VULVA | PENIS
*
HAND * None | None | Glove | Glove | Glove
------*-------+----------+----------+----------+-------
MOUTH * None | None | Oral Dam | Oral Dam | Condom
------*-------+----------+----------+----------+-------
ANUS * Glove | Oral Dam | NA | NA | Condom
------*-------+----------+----------+----------+-------
VULVA * Glove | Oral Dam | NA | Oral Dam | Condom
------*-------+----------+----------+----------+-------
PENIS * Glove | Condom | Condom | Condom | Condom

9. Using Barriers

9.1 Condoms

9.1.1 Selecting Condoms

Try a variety of condoms to find the brand that works for you. Often, some brands provide a better fit than others, and a good fit is important to the optimal operation of the condom.

Keep in mind the following:

• For vaginally and anally penetrative sex, you’ll probably be adding lube from your plastic lube bottle to the outside of the condom. Thus, whether the condom is pre-lubed is not important if you have lube of your own.
  
• Uncircumcised men may find contoured condoms more comfortable, and circumcised men may find form-fit condoms more comfortable.
  
• For use on penises, select a condom with a reservoir tip. For use on dildos or cylindrical vibrators, you may select a condom with a plain (non-reservoir) tip if you wish.
  
• Lambskin condoms are ineffective in preventing HIV transmission, and should be avoided.
  
• For fellatio, be sure you are using a condom without N-9. You don’t need to add lube outside of the condom, obviously, but feel free to put some inside - perhaps a little more than usual. Also, see the portion of this document titled “Things That Make Your Barrier Taste Better” for more information.
  
• Many people like Kimono MicroThin condoms. If you have no idea what brand of condom to buy, this brand might be a good starting point. They have no taste (that I can discern, anyway), and are fine for fellatio.

Many people enjoy using the Reality condom, which is a ringed cylindrical pouch that is placed in the vagina or anus. As Reality covers area around the vagina or anus, it can provide some measure of protection against STDs that can be transmitted by skin contact. It is an excellent choice for intercourse in circumstances where the male partner will not or cannot wear a condom, and can be especially valuable for situations where the male partner has difficulty wearing condoms due to erectile inconsistency during intercourse. Latex male condoms and the Reality condom tend to adhere to each other, and should not be used at the same time. Although Reality condoms were not originally designed for use anally, many people do use them that way with few difficulties.

9.1.2 Caring for Condoms

Throw them away if they’re past the expiration (EXP) date or four years past the manufacturing (MFG) date. Don’t let them get punctured, or get exposed to temperatures outside their specified range (in particular, don’t keep latex condoms in your wallet, in a glove compartment where they can overheat, or in the same pocket of a purse where the safety pins and keys are kept...). Be aware that it is possible to damage a condom during use by scraping it with fingernails, jewelry, and teeth. Open condom packages carefully, by tearing the package vertically with your fingers at a corner. Don’t try to test condoms yourself before use by unrolling them, filling them with water, or inflating them. This will only weaken them.

9.1.3 Making Condom Use Pleasurable Through Psychology

To eroticize condoms (or gloves, for that matter), masturbate with them. Select your favorite pornography, or pornography you suspect you are going to like, for this important process.

When you’ve found your favorite brand of condom, practice with it. Practice taking it out of the package without tearing it and practice putting it on (thinking about your favorite act of sex as you do so).

9.1.4 Instructions for Condom Use

Note: (+) indicates steps that are not applicable to dildos.

1. Don’t contact the vulva or anus of your partner with your penis or sex toy until a condom has been applied.
   
2. Remove the condom from the package carefully, and note which direction is “up” (discard the condom and put on another if you try to put it on upside down; the condom should be unrolled with the tube of latex emerging from the INSIDE of the ring at the base). Don’t unroll the condom before putting it on.
   
3. Wait until you have a full erection before putting on the condom. (+)
   
4. If you want to put a small drop of lube inside the tip of the condom to increase sensation, then do so before unrolling the condom. (+)
   
5. If you’re uncircumcised, pull your foreskin back. (+)
   
6. Roll the condom down, holding the top half-inch (or receptacle tip) of the condom between your fingers as you do so. This keeps out air bubbles, and helps the condom operate properly. It should leave a reserve space at the top end when the condom is entirely rolled down.
   
7. Roll the condom ALL the way down, then give the whole thing a good squeeze to help it stay on.
   
8. Apply lube to the outside of the condom (except for fellatio).
   
9. Check the condom periodically during sex, don’t penetrate past the base of the condom, and reapply/reconstitute lube whenever necessary (especially when you feel the condom start to get hot).
   
10. If you ejaculate while having sex, hold the condom near the base and pull out while still hard. (+)
    
11. Remove the condom (possibly covering your hand with a tissue or towelette) and discard it in such a way that someone will not be exposed to it later.
    
12. Depending on how you removed the condom, you may then wish to wash your hands and/or genitals (or use an anti-bacterial towelette), or at least not touch your eyes or genitals until you’ve had a chance to do so.

9.1.5 Comments on Condom Slippage and Breakage

When the steps listed in “Instructions for Condom Use” are followed correctly, and the condom has been cared for properly, it will very rarely if ever slip or break for most people. However, if you do experience slippage or breakage, then in the interest of keeping things simple try the first six suggestions in “Practices that Can Help” section before trying the more extreme later suggestions.

9.1.5.1 Prevention of Condom Slippage

9.1.5.1.1 Condoms that Can Help

• Beyond 7 (snug and thin), Lifestyle Snugger (snug), Exotica Snugger Fit (QUITE snug)
  
• Mentor (it has a mild adhesive at the base)

9.1.5.1.2 Practices that Can Help

Note: (+) indicates steps that are not applicable to dildos. Also, some of these suggestions are a little extreme, so try the simpler ones first…

• Being sure to roll the condom ALL THE WAY down.
  
• Squeezing the whole length of the condom once you put it on.
  
• Using less lube inside the condom.(+)
  
• Using more lube outside the condom, and reapplying it more often.
  
• Checking the base of the condom periodically during sex, to make sure it is at the base of the penis or dildo, and not penetrating into the orifice of choice past the base of the condom.
  
• Using condoms that fit you better.
  
• Pulling the condom on so far that it covers the testicles. This is most effective for longer condoms, and takes some practice.(+)
  
• Wearing a cock ring over the condom, in front of the testicles.(+)
  
• Obtaining a permanent piercing at the base of the shaft of the penis, and (once it heals) hooking the base of the condom over it. Ask a qualified and experienced piercing professional for details.(+)

9.1.5.2 Prevention of Condom Breakage

9.1.5.2.1 Condoms that Can Help

Any condom which is stronger than average, or stronger than the brand you experienced breakage with, should be of assistance (it should be noted, though, that condoms are rigorously tested by the FDA, and so there should be no condoms on the market which are patently and consistently unsafe). Sometimes breakage can be caused by using a condom which is much too small. It should also be noted that some of the same conditions which cause breakage can also cause slippage, so one should consider using a condom such as Mentor if breakage is a concern.

9.1.5.2.2 Practices that Can Help

Using more lube outside the condom and reapplying/reconstituting it often (possibly when you feel the condom start to get hot, or sooner), and replacing the condom every once in a while can help. Men who engage in intercourse that lasts for extended periods of time can especially benefit from this advice. As usual, it’s a good idea to check condoms periodically during sex.

9.1.5.3 Recovery from a Condom Slipping Off or Tearing

Unless you are strongly allergic to N-9, apply a spermicide with N-9 liberally to/inside the affected genital areas of both partners, and let it remain there for at least fifteen minutes. Men may urinate and wash their genitals before applying the spermicide for substantial extra protection. Don’t douche vaginally or anally following condom breakage; this will only push possibly infectious substances in further. In general, you may wish to always wash (possibly with Antimicrobial “Sani-Dex” Hand Wipes, Benzalkonium Chloride towelettes, or something similar) any areas of your body that come into contact with body fluids of another. If you believe that you have been exposed to an STD, see your health care provider as soon as possible.

9.1.6 Advanced Condom Use

9.1.6.1 Switching from Anal to Vaginal Penetration

If you plan to switch from anal to vaginal intercourse during sex, take care to avoid transmitting bacteria from one region to the other. Different barriers must be used to avoid increased risk of vaginitis. Basically, take off the old condom, and put on a new one.

9.1.6.2 Putting on a Condom with One’s Mouth

1. Open the condom, and unroll it a little way
   
2. Open your lips into a letter “O”
   
3. Put the condom (making sure that it’s facing the right direction) between your upper and lower lips, in front of the teeth
   
4. Holding on to the penis or dildo with one hand, put your mouth on that penis or dildo.
   
5. Tighten your lips and push down on the rim of the condom
   
6. Push from the neck to unroll the condom down the penis or dildo

9.1.6.3 Wearing Two Condoms At Once

The friction of latex on latex can cause problems for those who use more than one latex condom at once. The use of more than one latex condom at once is considered a last resort, after the suggestions in “Preventing Condom Breakage” have been followed and found to be insufficient.

9.1.6.4 Using Reality Condoms for Anal Sex

9.1.6.4.1 Introduction

The instructions provided with Reality condoms explain how to use them for ordinary penis-in-vagina sex. Although they are not recommended for use in penis-in-anus sex, many people do use them this way with few difficulties. The remainder of this section consists of a brochure on using the Reality condom for anal sex which was provided by Northwest AIDS Foundation.

9.1.6.4.2 Some Important Points to Know

1. Reality gives the receptive partner a way to protect himself. It can be inserted any time prior to sex. It warms up on insertion.
   
2. The polyurethane material used in the Reality sheath is stronger than the latex used in conventional condoms, yet it is soft.
   
3. Reality gives broader protection because it covers the outer area of the anus and the base of the penis during anal sex.
   
4. Reality does not deteriorate when oil-based lubricants are used.

9.1.6.4.3 Don’t Tear Reality

Be careful of sharp objects, like rings or sharp fingernails.

9.1.6.4.4 Practice Putting Reality in Before You Plan to Actually Use It

Get familiar with Reality’s unusual shape and looks. See how it hangs outside of the anus when in place, lining the anal cavity. Make sure you are comfortable inserting Reality before you use it in sex.

Take out Reality and look at is closely. Be sure the lubrication is evenly spread inside the pouch from the bottom to the top by rubbing the outside of the pouch together. If you need to, add more lubricant. Simply give one quick squeeze of the extra lubricant provided. You can decide how much more you and your partner would like once you try it on. You can also use oil-based lubricant.

9.1.6.4.5 To Insert Reality

Be sure the inner-ring is at the bottom, closed end of the pouch. If you wish, add extra lubricant to the outside of the pouch for extra comfort when you insert Reality.

9.1.6.4.6 How to Hold the Sheath

1. Hold the inner ring between thumb and middle finger. Put index finger on pouch between other two fingers, or
   
2. Just squeeze.

Still squeezing Reality with your fingers, insert the device through the anal opening. Take your time. If Reality is slippery to insert, let go and start over. Note that the inner ring helps insert Reality. It also helps to hold it in place during sex.

Now push the inner ring and the pouch the rest of the way up into the anal cavity with your index finger; for maximum protection, the inner ring should be inserted past the sphincter muscle. This step may be hard to do on the first or second try.

9.1.6.4.7 Before Anal Sex

When you are ready for sex, insert Reality, making sure the outside ring lies outside the anus. About one inch of the open end will stay outside. While this may look unusual, this part of Reality is protecting you and your partner during sex. You can add more lubricant either inside or outside Reality for extra comfort.

9.1.6.4.8 During Anal Sex

You may notice that Reality moves around during sex. Moving side-to-side of the outer ring is normal. It will not reduce your protection. Sometimes Reality may slip up and down in the anal cavity, riding on the penis. However the penis should remain covered by the pouch and any fluid stays inside the pouch. But, if either you or your partner notice the outer ring being pushed into the anal cavity, STOP. Pull the outer ring so that it lies outside the anus and add extra lubricant to the opening of the pouch or to the insertive penis. Make sure the outer ring lies outside the anus. If the penis starts to enter underneath or beside the sheath, STOP and reinsert within the covered anus.

9.1.6.4.9 After Anal Sex

To take out Reality, squeeze and twist the outer ring to keep any fluid inside the pouch. Pull out gently. Throw away in a trash can. Do not flush. Do not reuse.

9.1.6.4.10 Miscellaneous Advice

1. If the outer ring is pushed inside when the penis enters, STOP. Remove Reality and insert again according to these directions. Put extra lubricant at the opening of the anus. We suggest lubricating the insertive penis before you begin to put Reality back in. As you know, we all have different anatomical sizes. In some cases, the amount of lubricant in Reality may not be enough. If the outer ring does go inside, remove Reality and add extra lubricant at the opening of the anus before putting it back in.
   
2. Reality should not bunch up inside if it is inserted right and if there is enough lubricant in the sheath. If either you or your partner notices the outer ring befin to slip inside, STOP; pull the outer ring to lie outside the anus. Add extra lubricant.
   
3. If the penis is inserted outside the outer ring, STOP. Remove penis, and be sure the outer ring lies flat over the anal area.
   
4. Studies show that it is unlikely for Reality to rip or tear during use. If this does occur, remove it right away, throw it away, and insert a new Reality.
   
5. Reality is not too short: it has been designed to fit the average-size penis.
   
6. It is not necessary for either you or your partner to wear a conventional condom while using Reality for anal sex, because in effect Reality is a condom, covering the penis and the anal cavity during sex.
   
7. Reality cannot be used for fisting.
   
8. Reality can be used for oral/anal sex, providing the outer ring remains outside the anus and all contact is protected by the barrier sheath.
   
9. Reality is not designed for activities involving urine.

9.1.7 General Comments on Studies of Condom Effectiveness

9.1.7.1 Myths About Condom Effectiveness Rates

Some myths persist about the preventative capability and functionality of condoms. Many commonly quoted statistics as to their effectiveness in preventing pregnancy, for example, include in the sample everyone who CLAIMED that they used condoms for contraception, whether they used the condoms consistently and correctly or not (in fact, many men who claim to be using condoms for contraception do not use them all the time). When used properly, the failure rate for pregnancy prevention of latex condoms can fall to 2% per year [Trussell, et. al., 1990]. An analogous argument may be made about condoms and STD prevention, and condom breakage.

The important thing to remember is that WHEN USED CORRECTLY AND CONSISTENTLY, latex condoms are VERY effective at reducing STD transmission and unwanted pregnancy. Furthermore, when used properly, they VERY rarely slip or break.

9.1.7.2 Useful Studies of the Effectiveness of the Condom

In one famous study of 123 couples where one partner was HIV+ and one was not, and the couples used condoms every time they had sex, none of the non-infected partners became infected; of 122 couples where one partner was HIV+ and one was not, but the couples used condoms inconsistently, 12 uninfected partners became infected [DeVincent, 1993]. In another study, only 1 condom out of 237 slipped off during sex [Trussell, et. al., 1992].

9.2 Gloves

9.2.1 General Comments

Safer sex gloves are made of virus-impermeable materials and may be used to protect both partners when engaging in manual vulva, anus, or penile stimulation. Standard powdered latex examination gloves are commonly available at drug stores, and more exotic gloves (longer gloves, gloves made of nitrile rather than latex, unpowdered gloves, or x-large/x-small gloves) may be obtained through mail order from medical suppliers.

It is important for both comfort and effectiveness that your gloves fit correctly. Try different sizes on at a drug store which lets you buy them by the pair before you buy a whole box (but when you buy a box, buy an unopened box!).

Most latex gloves are lightly powdered with talc inside and out, which prevents them from sticking together in their box. If this is the case and either you or your partner find the feel or taste of the powder unappealing, you may rinse off the powder with running water or a wet sponge, or purchase powder-free gloves (see above). Powder-free gloves tend to be slightly thicker and significantly more expensive than ordinary gloves; the most common reason people give for choosing powder-free gloves is that they or one of their partners are allergic to the powder.

Be sure to remove any sharp objects (such as jewelry) from your hand before putting a glove on. You can wear more than one glove at a time (on the same hand) of different materials in cases where you or your partner are allergic to your prefered type of glove.

It is best to turn gloves inside out as you remove them; after one glove is turned inside out, you may optionally drop any used condoms and/or oral barriers inside it before placing it in the other gloved hand and turning the other glove inside out around it and discarding. This may sound complex, but it looks graceful and may cause you to feel very pleased with yourself.

Some people like to wear finger cots or condoms on the fingers they will be using in the place of gloves; it is not clear what the advantage of this approach is over the use of gloves, unless gloves are not available.

9.2.2 Basic Manual Anal Penetration Safety

For any manual anal penetration, be sure your fingernails are VERY short. If your fingernails are too long, you can puncture your glove and/or make penetration uncomfortable for your partner. Be sure you are using a glove of sufficient length to protect the entire surface that will be exposed. It is also valuable to insert your hand such that the fingers are pointing away from the walls of the anus, rather then pointing into the walls of the anus.

Some people who for fashion’s sake prefer to keep long fingernails put cotton balls around their fingernails before putting on their gloves. The thought is that this will prevent any contact between the sharp fingernails and the inside of the glove. If you wish to use this approach, be sure to practice extensively before doing any significant penetrations (vaginally or anally) so you are confident none of the edges of your fingernails can exert direct pressure on the glove (and hence your partner).

Anal penetration is definitely a situation where an inch feels like a mile. As the anus does not provide its own lubrication, and as it is generally smaller and more fragile than the vagina, it is especially important to use sufficient lubrication. As was the case with penile/anal intercourse, this is a safer sex concern as well as a comfort concern. Finally, it is important to note that the natural curvature of the anal passageway is different from that of the vaginal passageway; one should proceed especially sensitively if one is accustomed to vaginal penetration rather than anal penetration. Examining a diagram is helpful. We suggest reading Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin for more details on anal play.

9.2.3 Basic Manual Vaginal Penetration Safety

One should use a glove of sufficient length to protect the entire area that will be inserted into the vagina (i.e. don’t use “finger cots” when a standard glove is needed), one should be sure that fingernails are not going to puncture the gloves or hurt the receptive partner (see earlier comments about cotton balls and long fashion nails), and one should apply lube WHENEVER it is necessary or desirable. Penetration should always stay within the comfort level of one’s partner. Some women enjoy circular motions of the fingers while they are held at a constant depth in the vagina. Others like concentrated massage of the area on the forward wall of the vagina, just beyond the pubic bone. A few enjoy having an entire hand in their vagina - a practice referred to as “vaginal fisting” (a book on this subject called A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting was published quite recently).

The basic technique for vaginal fisting is to insert the hand slowly, always staying within the comfort level of the person being penetrated. The insertion is done with the fingers and thumb folded together, to form what looks like a duck bill. The farther in one goes, the more the hand has a tendency to naturally close into a fist; this is perfectly fine, and protects the hand from being hurt during the strong contractions that often accompany orgasm. Many people find that they “get stuck” when their hand is in to about the depth of halfway down the thumb; an advanced trick that may be used at this point is to slightly splay open the fingers and thumb; this may cause the hand to naturally slide in past the “sticking point.” Of course, the depth of vaginal penetration is limited by the cervix, which may be found about six inches into the vagina. Vaginal fisting is much easier to perform if you have small hands; this is also the case for handballing. If you “get stuck”, inserting an extra finger can break the suction.

If your partner is a post-operative male-to-female transsexual with a surgically constructed vagina, then you shouldn’t engage in any sort of vaginal fisting without first consulting his or her doctor together about whether this sort of thing would be safe.

9.2.4 Advanced Glove Use

9.2.4.1 Special Tricks and Techniques

• For different sorts of sensations, you can try putting little round beads (or other objects without sharp edges) between the glove and your fingers. Rings without any sharp edges can also serve this purpose.
  
• The penetrater’s sensation may be increased by putting a little water-based or silicone-based lube on his or her fingertips before putting on the gloves.
  
• If you wish to engage in cunnilingus (or analingus) at the same time you are manually penetrating the vagina, the following approach can be valuable, though it does take practice: using a longer glove if possible, slit it up both sides (stopping as you get to the wrist) to form a flap that you can then fold up and use as an oral barrier. By cutting the glove in this way, you will have two flaps so that manual penetration may be done with the palm up or the palm down. This glove modification technique works well with latex gloves, and poorly with nitrile gloves. As it is difficult to remove any powder from the inside of a glove, unpowdered gloves are preferable if this technique is going to be used.

9.2.4.2 Comments on Handballing ("Anal Fisting")

The basic technique is to insert the hand slowly, always staying within the comfort level of the person being penetrated. The insertion is done with the fingers and thumb folded together, to form what looks like a duck bill. The farther in one goes, the more the hand has a tendency to naturally close into a fist; this is perfectly fine, and allows depth of penetration. Many people find that they “get stuck” when their hand is in to about the depth of halfway down the thumb; an advanced trick that may be used at this point is to slightly splay open the fingers and thumb; this may cause the hand to naturally slide in past the “sticking point.” In general, it is better to go inward while the receptive partner is exhaling rather than inhaling, and to let their interior muscles “pull you in” as they are ready for more.

Breathing deeply, relaxing, and being still are important for the receptive partner (especially at the beginning), and the receptive partner should also have flushed his or her lower GI tract out beforehand with a gentle solution so that any feces are not caused to abrade against the walls of the rectum. For details on this cleansing procedure, and for much more information which is necessary to perform handballing safely, we strongly urge you to read TRUST/The Hand Book by Bert Herrman. Deep anal penetration can be dangerous if done carelessly, and this book discusses safety concerns relevant to everything from basic handballing to transverse-colon-depth fisting.

The primary danger involved in handballing other than disease transmission is potential damage to the anal/rectal tissues. It is very important not to push the receiving partner faster or harder than he or she wishes. Sharp pain is a bad sign. Sensitivity, caution, and the liberal use of lube is necessary to avoid damage. Also, the use of mind-altering substances is to be avoided in handballing; they can block pain sensations for the receiving partner which might be a signal that the inserting partner needs to back off.

As a handballing session may require an hour or more for the anal sphincters to dilate to the point necessary to accommodate an entire hand, it is important that the anal passageway be well lubricated for long periods of time. As water-based lubes need to be reapplied or reconstituted often, oil-based lubes such as Crisco (regular, not butter-flavored) have traditionally been popular among handballers. Of course, the difficulty with oil-based lubes is that they break down latex.

There are a number of potential solutions to this problem. Some handballers note that latex examination gloves are thicker than latex condoms and insist that for moderate amounts of time they CAN be used with oil-based lubes (perhaps changing them periodically during VERY lengthy play). Indeed, from Mr. S. Leathers one can obtain special thick latex handballing gloves (imported from Holland) which go to either the elbow or to the shoulder.

You might be able to avoid the whole issue by using gloves made of a substance called Nitrile, which does not degrade in the presence of oils. Nitrile gloves are available from Conney and may be purchased in 9”, 11”, and 18” lengths. It should be noted that many players may not end up having their hand in their partner long enough for the oils to degrade the latex gloves; if Nitrile is (for some reason) uncomfortable for you or your partner, then switch back to latex and while playing be sure to change gloves before their integrity can be seriously compromised (i.e. ANYTHING is better than nothing). Of course, another option is to use silicone-based lubes with regular latex gloves; it’s a matter of personal taste.

A small number of advanced handballers have been known to penetrate through the rectum to near the transverse colon, which means that the person doing the penetration may have their arm inserted to near the elbow. There are some health care professionals who say that unless there are visible cuts on the arm, that it is OK to penetrate to beyond the base of the glove. Obviously, this is the sort of thing that formal studies have not been done on, so they may be right but we don’t really know. Washing your hands and arms afterwards with hot water and anti-bacterial soap is always a good idea, of course.

You may be tempted to try to use calving gloves, which may obtained from veterinary shops. The only comments that should be made is that many calving gloves are made of vinyl, which has not been tested for safer sex as completely latex has been and which has a texture that many people find very uncomfortable; furthermore, the latex calving gloves are often nearly as expensive as the specially-designed latex handballing gloves mentioned above, which makes them much less attractive as an option.

Since deep handballing may require longer gloves, and longer gloves are typically thicker, it is especially critical in such cases to listen carefully to comments about comfort from the receiving partner, and to apply and reapply lube OUTSIDE the glove liberally.

Be very cautious about engaging in penile/anal intercourse after handballing. After a deep handballing session, it can take up to two or three days for the anal/rectal membranes to fully recover; this means that they are more likely to allow transmission of an STD. Also, since the most commonly used lube for handballing is oil-based (regular Crisco), the presence of oil in the anus and rectum can degrade any latex condom that comes into contact with them. Thus, if one is going to follow a handballing session with anal intercourse, a polyurethane condom such as Avanti should be used, and EXTREME care should be taken that the integrity of this barrier is maintained (you might try wearing an Avanti condom over a thin latex condom, and practicing with this combination beforehand to be sure that it works well for you).

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