Female Orgasms. Before You Get Started
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Some women seem to have an incredibly difficult time reaching orgasm during intercourse; that is if they are able to orgasm at all. The most common reason for this is that they don’t know their own bodies. Society has had this brilliant effect of instilling into our minds from childhood that masturbation is sinful, wrong and dirty. Well, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but all common sense dictates that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Thanks to this misconception, many people, especially women, have stopped themselves from learning their bodies, thereby reducing the chances of being able to fully enjoy sex.
It is hard for many women to unlearn all that they have been taught, and they often feel that “touching themselves does not bring pleasure”. There is some truth behind that - they are not lying, they do not feel pleasure. However, this is not because there is no pleasure to be felt, just that they have been indirectly taught to not enjoy it. Getting beyond this will take time and patience, so never rush your partner.
If your woman has never had an orgasm (this is often the case if they say, “I think I’ve had one"), you will want to refer to the female masturbation article to get things started. Learning to please a woman who can’t orgasm on her own is extremely difficult, so we highly suggest that you start with getting her to play with herself, and allow her to learn how her body reacts to different stimulus.
The last note has to do with your approach. Orgasms can’t be forced, and the more pressure you put on her to cum, the less likely it is to happen. Take things slow, learn techniques, experiment with them and find what works. If you start getting frustrated when you aren’t seeing results, it will show, and unfortunately make it even harder. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable - as soon as you make it too serious, it takes away from the pleasure!
About Orgasms
There are two major types of orgasms a women can have …clitoral and G spot, otherwise known as vaginal orgasms. When masturbating, women usually learn to get themselves off using their clitoris. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves the whole world of vaginal orgasms untapped. Many women are unable to climax during intercourse, as they aren’t familiar enough with the stimulation to enjoy it to its fullest extent. While you learn to read your partner’s body signs, it never hurts to ask a question, especially if you are trying new techniques.
Coitus, commonly known as vaginal sex, can be one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman, if done without thought. While it does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman’s clitoral area is nothing compared to masturbation or cunnilingus. One can incorporate manual stimulation to the clitoris during sex, but this is not very necessary if your woman has had vaginal orgasms in the past, and if you know how to hit the g spot correctly. To learn more about positions and the g spot, please refer to the g spot article and positions section. No one wants to involve geometry into sex, but it is wise to know which positions stimulate the G spot the best. In order to help her achieve a vaginal orgasm, you need to make sure you are “hitting” the G spot with each stroke.
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Revision date: July 5, 2011
Last revised: by David A. Scott, M.D.
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